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My Sermon on 10/20/2019

27 Sunday Oct 2019

Posted by ts4jc in About Me, General Christian issues, General Transsexual issues, The Bible on transsexualism

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I had the privilege of delivering the worship service message at New Hempstead Presbyterian Church in New City, NY on 10/20/19. I thank the pastor, the Rev. Dr. Lori Knight-Whitehouse, for the opportunity. At the end of the text, I am posting a link to my portion of the service (the second Bible reading and my sermon, plus a great hug at the end from Pastor Lori). I chose both readings for the service: 1st Samuel 16:1-7 and Luke 11:37-44.

What Difference Does It Make?

Today’s scripture passages deal with insides and outsides of people.  In both cases, God is far more interested in the heart and mind of a person than the outer appearance.  In 1st Samuel, God notes that it is human nature to judge based on what’s outside.  It’s a lot easier to see external features and we like to keep our complicated lives as simple as possible.  When the children of Israel ignored God’s warnings and desired a human king to rule over them, He gave them an impressive physical specimen.  But tall, studly King Saul was found wanting: not only disobedient but making excuses for it.  So the Lord lets Samuel know that with this new king, the king whose lineage would lead to Jesus, God would select based on His ability to see and judge the worthiness of the one selected.  David wasn’t perfect.  But when confronted with his sin, he owned up to it and returned to being a man after God’s own heart.

The ritual of hand washing

The passage in Luke might hit closer to home.  It is not likely that anyone here will be chosen for a royal position.  But it is very likely that all of us have either judged others or have been judged based on our appearance or based on expectations.  And who among us would not have felt foolish if the person we judged negatively turned out to be Christ?  Yet Jesus goes a step further.  In condemning the Pharisees of His day, Jesus uses very strong language.  As they used to say in the movies, “Dems fighting words!”

We have to be careful here.  In Matthew 5:22, Jesus warned about calling someone a fool.  Now He calls the Pharisees fools for their hypocritical concern with the outside while neglecting their wickedness inside.  But in the Matthew passage, the Greek word translated as “fool” is “moros”.  That word carried a connotation of being godless as well as being foolish.  In Luke 11:40, the Greek word translated as “fool” is “aphron” [af-rone].  It insults the intelligence of the Pharisees, but not their piety.

About seven years ago, a woman I knew from church who I considered a friend told me that something I was doing was “foolish and evil”.  Then she added that she would pray for me.  I suppose in her mind that was supposed to cover it.  But it was clear to me she was implying that I was doing moros type foolishness.

What’s my difference?  My message today will focus on one that is very rare.  The current estimate is six tenths of a percent or six people in a random group of a thousand.  New Hempstead is much smaller than one thousand people.  But a church is not a random sample.  It is populated by people with similar beliefs and common purpose.  Two of the beliefs that connect me to New Hempstead are Christianity and social justice.

Some of you already know about my difference.  Many of you do not know and might be surprised.  Some might even be shocked.  Hopefully none of you are dismayed.  Unfortunately, a large portion of the Christian community around the world is dismayed.  To them, I am living in sin, have a reprobate mind and most likely not even saved.  And if I am saved, in their opinion at best I am terribly backslidden and in need of prayer for deliverance.

So let me introduce myself as I sometimes do when I speak before secular groups.  First, I am Christian.  That is my eternal spiritual identity.  Second, I am female.  That is my innate gender identity.  Somewhere down on the list, I am transgender.  That is my biological anatomical reality.

Lois Simmons, author of this blog!

It is also my anatomical reality that most of my secondary sex characteristics, even prior to cross-gender hormones and without any visible surgeries, are female.  That doesn’t make me any more female or any more transgender than another trans woman.  It just makes me more fortunate in my ability to go through life without being hassled in public.

In other ways, I am pretty much the same person I was before I transitioned socially nearly seven years ago.  I am still good in math, I can still parallel park, I still have a good sense of direction, I still have the same crazy sense of humor, I still like sports and I still love the Lord.

It is the last item on that list that makes my remarks relevant to this congregation.  Otherwise, what I have to say might be an interesting YouTube video or Facebook post that you read and then move on.  But it is my heart for Christ, my heart for those who do not know Him and my heart for other transgender people, that fuels my remarks today.  A transgender ally could have presented most of this same message.  But it would be deceitful for me if I failed to disclose the truth about who I am and where I am coming from.

At this point, I am reminded of the parable of the sower. Luke’s Gospel records it in chapter 8, verses 5-8: A sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the way side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it.  And some fell upon a rock; and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away, because it lacked moisture.  And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked it. And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an hundredfold.  And when he had said these things, he cried, He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.

hard soil

If you take one thing away from my message today, it is this: sharing Jesus with the transgender community is hard soil.  And not only has the body of Christ dropped the ball, many have kicked the ball away.  There are a number of denominations and independent churches who will turn away a transgender person, whether Christian or seeker; many others will accept them in the hopes that they can pray away the trans or expose the trans person to enough teaching … “in love”, of course … that the trans person will renounce their transgender identity.

There are grim consequences for both transgender people and the Christian Church as a result of these widespread and well-known attitudes.  For example, for many years I attended a support group in Bergen County that met in an open, accepting and affirming Evangelical Lutheran Church.  More often than not when someone contacted us about joining the group, when they heard that we met in a church, they would stop e-mailing us, or we could hear their interest wane, or they would flat out tell us that they would not come to a meeting at a church.  Whether because of personal experience or Christian church reputation, like the lyrics of a song by The Who, they do not want to be fooled again.

And unfortunately for churches like New Hempstead, even though we aren’t part of this mud puddle of bigotry, we get splashed with that same dirty reputation in the eyes of very many who identify as L, G, B, or T.  How many LGBT+ welcoming churches are seeing an influx of members of those groups?  How many of these churches are struggling to survive or are even closing their doors?  At the same time, how many LGBT+ identified people are closing their hearts to the saving knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Based on personal experience, the testimony of other trans people and mounting scientific evidence, I do not believe that someone who is truly born transgender can change that identity, whether through secular or spiritual intervention.  But that is a separate discussion.  For now taking that as a given, what is the right course for us in the Church of Jesus Christ?

I decided after years of resisting to join Facebook this summer.  Quickly I found a closed group of Transgender Christians, over 700 both strong and suffering alike.  It was a larger group than I expected to find.  There was a time that I couldn’t find another transgender Christian anywhere online.  That was one reason I started my own blog on the subject.

Edited and paraphrased to maintain privacy, these are the testimonies of some of our fellow believers and what they are going through because of their combination of identities.  Hear what your sisters and brothers in Christ are crying out.

I met with my parents for the first time since coming out to them a few weeks ago.  It is the first time they saw me presenting as female.  Our time together was pleasant, but transgender and my transition were never mentioned.  As we were parting, my mom handed me a book to read.  (The book is one of many books that supposedly use the Gospel lovingly to show transgender people the sin and error of our ways so we will repent.  Often their premise is that we are either not saved, don’t know the Bible, that we are rebelling against God, or some combination thereof.)

Post: God is good all the time.  I finally found a church here deep in the Bible Belt that accepts me as the trans woman that I am.  Reply: Great news.  There are accepting churches out there.  It isn’t always easy finding one.

When I was still presenting as a cisgender male, a cis male friend who was a member of a men’s church study group persuaded me to attend a presentation by a man who wrote an anti-transgender paper.  When I asked the presenter what he used for research material, he showed me a stack of pornographic magazines.  I never attended another men’s Bible study group again.

I was rejected by my previous church.  Yet I am encouraged by what someone in my current church told me: “You challenge us to live our faith.”

My transgender identity remained when I was saved in my mid-20’s.  It has been a constant battle to please my Lord and Savior at the same time as continuing to work towards becoming the woman I truly am.

I feel my faith ebbing away.  I don’t sense God being there for me.  Goodbye to the group.  (This person revealed that she had been molested in the past and that someone else tried recently.  She was feeling shame because she felt she may have caused it by dressing to look pretty.  With encouragement from others, so far she stayed in the group.)

A trans woman member of the group, who is known in her church as female and transgender, was invited to join a small group in her church.  Then she was told that they were going to address her only by her former male name because that was how God created her.  The reason given was that they would lovingly accept anyone who wanted to join their group, but they had to remain true to their understanding of God’s word.  The invitation to join the group was declined.  The leader of the group acted like she was the judged and aggrieved party.

The pastor of the church I used to attend told me that it would be better for their church if I didn’t come back after I transitioned to female. 

My pastor knows my transgender identity, but he and the church are lukewarm on transgender issues.  I attend a mega-church and the pastor has a lot of status even beyond the local community.  I want my church to take a more positive stance on transgender issues instead of ignoring their existence.  But I think my pastor is more concerned about what it will do to his reputation in the Christian community if he steps out in favor of transgender people.

I used to attend a church that claimed to be LGBT friendly.  They had members, including the pastor, who were either gay or lesbian.  But I was the only transgender person there.  Most of the people ignored me and one gay couple was downright negative towards me.  Not only did I leave that church, I am avoiding church altogether now.

I have been attending a church for a few months and things were going well in terms of acceptance as a woman.  Then I came out as transgender.  Now I’ve been told that I cannot be part of any woman’s group or do any ministry work.  (In general this points to the dilemmas all transgender people face: should we come out at all, who should we come out to and under what circumstances?)

An acquaintance told me today that I am trash for violating God’s word.  Furthermore, I and anyone transgender should be put to death if we don’t turn away from this wickedness.

One group member is currently in the closet as a pastor in a conservative denomination that does not accept transgender.  Another member in similar circumstances in the past stepped down and found a job as a chaplain so she could transition.

coming out – should I or not?

My spouse has been sacrificially supportive since I came out.  Now she feels the need to leave her church, the church I started to attend with her.  We thought we were welcome.  Now we found out that they only welcomed us hoping that we would eventually be convicted to turn away from our relationship with me being transgender.  We are continuing to attend, but no longer feel welcome and are starting to look for another church.  But that is very difficult in our area.  Also a transgender teen had been coming with her family.  Once the church’s stance became known, this family stopped coming as well. 

These are just some examples.  They confirm what I believe the Holy Spirit was laying on my heart as I was exploring transition in 2012.  The Lord laid a new ministry idea on my heart.  I call it “Born Thrice”.

In a sense, a transgender Christian who transitions is not only born again, but born three times: physical birth, spiritual birth and gender rebirth or reassignment.  To the world, in many ways I am a new person.  I have a new name and a new gender marker on my birth certificate, my passport, my driver’s license and with Social Security.  My brother for the first time has a sister.  My senior men’s honorary society at Cornell retroactively had their first female member.

Here are the aims of my proposed ministry.  Note how well they fit in with the needs expressed in a sample of unsolicited posts that were taken from the Transgender Christian Facebook Group over the past month.

  • Provide support so that transgender Christians can remain steadfast in their faith. This can include helping find a new church.
  • Help transgender Christians who became discouraged and turned away from Christ so that they will return to their first love; shine the light of Christ’s love to those who were raised in the church and proclaim that there is a place in the body of Christ for transgender people with many faithful churches now receiving them with gladness and without judgment.
  • Proclaim to the rest of the transgender community that God loves them just as they are and that there is peace and wholeness without shame in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
  • Educate pastors, ruling elders and congregations that there is no conflict between Christianity and transgenderism. This can be done discreetly on behalf of a transgender Christian who would like to come out in their own church but is unsure of what the reaction will be and would like the waters tested.  It can also be done to help find a new church or for any church that wants to know more about transgender.
  • Talk with Christian family members of a transgender individual who has or plans to come out, helping the family respond with love and compassion rather than condemnation, while also showing compassion for the adjustment that the family members will be making.

Some of the transgender Christians I am meeting will become part of the pool of counselors.  But more groundwork needs to be laid.  It would help to have someone with the skill to take a vision and get an organization off the ground successfully.  Denominational support and endorsement will be helpful.  Once a ministry gets large enough, a good advisory board and a board of trustees is needed.  And prayer support is always necessary for a successful Christian organization.

How else can you make a difference?

As far as I know, no one else in the New Hempstead congregation is transgender.  But allies are always a blessing.  And if there are enough people interested, I would be willing to help lead a discussion group on transgender.  Key Bible verses and books on the topic are available as discussion starters.

Bee Love Slater, a transgender woman of color, was burned to death in this car on 9/4/19

Other ministry opportunities are likely to arise.  The transgender population, particularly transgender women of color, tend to be underemployed and living in poverty.  Some turn to sex work as their answer and this makes them very vulnerable to physical violence.  [But all transgender people are at a higher risk to be victims of physical violence.]  There are also times when transgender identified young people need safe places to obtain education or even refuge from their immediate family.

And I challenge you today to consider your own common interest community.  Maybe it is music or pet lovers or senior citizens or gardening or crafts.  Maybe it is your profession or the sports team you root for or centered on the activities of your children or grandchildren.  Are you shining the light of Christ in your communities?  Do people know that you are Christian?  Or would they be surprised to find out?  Maybe you’d like to share what Jesus has done in your life but you aren’t sure how.  Pastor Lori and I have ideas on that subject and would love to share them with you.

Lord, I pray that those who have heard this message will apply it to their life according to Your will.  And I pray that whether it is through Born Thrice or other instruments of Your choosing, that you will help many transgender people abide in Your grace, peace, joy and love. Amen

A Look at the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference

22 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by ts4jc in About Me, General Transsexual issues, Just for Fun, Living Female

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affirmation, aging issues, ally, bereavement, binary, biological needs, blend, Burial rights, children, Congress, discrimination, Dr. Keelee McPhee, dysfunctional relationship, Elena Waldman, Executive Branch, family relationships, Final instructions, FTM, gender confirming surgery, gender non-binary, health insurance, housing discrimination, HUD, isolation, Last Will and Testament, loneliness, medical issues, Medicare, MTF, Older Americans Act, partisanship, personal choices, Phiadelphia, politics, safety, SAGE, self-defense, sexual orientation, sharing our stories, support services, survey data, suspicion, target gender, Trans Health Conference, Transgender, transgender in society, transgender rights, Transition, transman, transwoman, transwomen of color, vendors, White House Conference on Aging, Women's Bible Study, youth

During the first week in June, I attended my first major transgender related conference.  (My first major transgender themed event occurred six weeks earlier at the gala ball sponsored by Femme Fever on Long Island.)

The Philadelphia Trans Health Conference brings together speakers to present topics, arranges panel discussions, provides space for vendors to display goods, services and other things of interest, provides venues for various artistic presentations, and schedules a handful of social event opportunities.  All these things, along with gender neutral bathrooms, are aimed specifically at the transgender community.

Besides the fact that it was the first time I had entered a bathroom with urinals in over 2½ years, there was something different about this conference that eluded me at first.  Then, it came to me: for the first time in my life, I was at a large gathering where not only were the majority of the people transgender, but the attendees spanned the entire spectrum of the TG community.  (At the gala ball, an overwhelming majority of those present appear as female and glam.  And support/social group meetings have been attended by only 3-25 people.)

One of the best things about the conference is that registration is totally free unless you are there for the professional track.  One still needs to budget food, lodging and transportation, of course.

The best personally affirming moments at the conference were when I received an ovation after I shared how I have reached the point where I no longer have a problem personally sharing my gender story with someone cisgender, and the couple of times people told me that they thought I was either an ally or there in support of a partner.  They were surprised when I told them that I was MTF transgender.  I am in no way ashamed any more of being trans, but it is always lovely to hear that I blend in so well with the general female population.

The first session I attended was “Empowering Older Trans Adults to Protect Their Rights”.  Here we learned about a number of efforts underway to provide needed protection for trans senior citizens.  One is to add LGBT to the Older Americans Act as a group needing extra protection and help.  In general, 1 in 4 trans people experience discrimination in housing.  An effort is being made to include transgender as a category covered by HUD non-discrimination policies.

It was mentioned that increased partisanship is bogging down new legislation, so most of the advances are coming through the executive branch.  The importance of surveying and gathering data from older trans adults was mentioned.  But it was also noted that there is difficulty in conducting these surveys because of small sample size and suspicion by some of the target group members.

Two websites of note were mentioned during this section of the session: www.lgbtagingcenter.org and www.sageusa.org. There is some overlap between these sites and organizations.  There is a White House survey available on the SAGE site.  To access it, you have to go to the “Advocacy” tab and click on “White House Conference on Aging”.  These conferences, which are held only once every ten years and help determine national aging policy, will be held this July.  So if you would like to take the survey, do it soon.  It took me about 15-20 minutes and provides an opportunity for you to share your thoughts and your story (short answers).  Even if your concerns about aging are not immediate and whatever your gender or sexual identity, your input is valid.

Because it is so important to share our stories, the last part of the session allowed us to do just that.  We paired off and told each other our stories based on one of three themes.  I chose “explain a time when you couldn’t be yourself.”  I started by describing how I have not been able to be myself in the Women’s Bible Study at my church, because most of the women attending have not known my story.  Praise the Lord, now they do.  And so when the next Bible study is held, employing godly discernment and discretion, I will be able to share times when my experience is relevant to the lesson being taught.  I won’t be taking over the study, but I will be making my contribution.

My partner for the exercise was a black transman from Montana.  He shared that his employer knows that he is trans.  Even so, I don’t want to say any more than that about him.  Just how many black transmen are there in Montana anyway?  More to the point, how isolated is he from the transgender community, from others like him, and from support services?

We were given one more website, one in which we can share our stories.  I went there and didn’t see many stories and I don’t know how many visitors there have been so far.  But if you are trans and have a story to tell yet do not want to go to the NY Times site, you might want to consider this one.  I haven’t put my story there yet, but hope to do so soon.

http://www.shareourtomorrow.org

On Thursday afternoon (right after I ate lunch, so fortunately there wasn’t much physical involvement by the attendees), I went to Self Defense, a beginner level workshop led by Elena Waldman (elenaselfdefense@yahoo.com).  From New York City, she is one fierce cisgender woman.

Because of my lack of size and plenty of time spent over the years in New York City (sometimes in less than desirable neighborhoods), I had probably been more conscious of safety than most transwomen while in male mode.  And I am even more conscious of it now.

Even so, knowing that we could not be taught any sophisticated techniques in 80 minutes, I was interested in what tips I could pick up.  I did learn a few things and was refreshed in other areas of knowledge.

Because any inaccuracy on my part could possibly endanger someone more than help them, I will let those of you interested in learning more on the topic to contact Ms. Waldman directly.

After that session, I went to something far less intense.  Gender Reel presented a mini film festival: three short videos that fit the 80 minute time frame (minus something about who Gender Reel is and time taken to give away a few t-shirts and posters).  One film was very campy.  The next one was a play within a video that described the lives of nine transwomen in New York City.  The last film dealt with violence against LGBT teens/young adults (specifically a younger transman) in London.  It also included a discriminatory attitude against transmen by a nurse.  I felt that the last one was the best of the three, but all were somewhat disappointing in quality.

My last session on Thursday was a panel discussion entitled “Age is Just a Number”.  While age presents challenges for all people, for transgender individuals, it can be even more challenging.  For those of us who transitioned late in life, we did not plan on living life in our target gender.  And we may have used up considerable resources to transition, resources no longer available for retirement years.

Those who transitioned at an earlier age are likely to have been too concerned with survival to do much planning for old age.  At times, the odds of even surviving to old age might have appeared to be slim.

Age can also be a relative thing in the TG community.  In some ways, it can represent how long it has been since a person transitioned.  It can also be cultural.  For transwomen of color, 40 can represent old age since so few make it to that age.

There are issues relating to sex, dating and relationships.  Those who transition late in life may experience sex in a new way for the first time.  It is not uncommon to see changes in sexual orientation in response.  And in addition to dealing with the same dating and relationship issues that cisgenders face, older trans people are very likely to stay with someone not good for them, simply because they are afraid they won’t find anyone else.  (This is something experienced by trans people of all ages.)

Older trans people are more likely to be isolated.  This makes a difficult time of life even more complicated and problematic.

Major concerns of older trans people:

  • Loneliness
  • Discrimination issues
  • What will happen if it is medically advisable to adjust HRT levels downward
  • Health insurance coverage, especially for those on Medicare (necessary services may not match one’s gender marker)
  • Poor job skills and education for those whose income potential faded when youth did
  • Dealing with medical practitioners who tend to blame any of our medical problems on being trans.
  • Not being able to complete transition when other major health issues arise
  • Burial rights (will our families bury us under our preferred name and gender)
  • Failure to have a will or leave final instructions
  • Bereavement for those who have seen many trans friends die.

The first session I attended on Friday was the “Out Late Discussion”.  Aimed at those who have recently taken steps to transition at age 40 or older, the attendees filled three sheets of easel paper with specific concerns.  That took about 25 of the 80 minutes allotted for the session.  Then we grouped those concerns into four major areas: personal choices, relationships with family, relationship with society and biological needs.  The rest of the session was spent on a free-wheeling discussion with the attendees describing significant elements of their particular situations.  The conversation leaned toward sharing individual experiences and emphasizing the validity of each rather than providing answers, although this does not mean that attendees did not gain insight from the stories of others.

The last session I attended at the conference was a talk about transgender surgery by Dr. Keelee McPhee.  She is plastic surgeon based in the Research Triangle area of North Carolina.  Most of her experience is in the area of facial or breast surgeries for both transmen and transwomen.  She has been the primary surgeon on only one MTF “bottom” surgery, having recently studied with Dr. Marci Bowers.  Since my primary decision at this time is “bottom” surgery, most of the talk was only of academic interest to me.  Dr. McPhee did display extensive knowledge in those areas with which she has done many surgeries.

Instead of the final two sessions that I had planned to attend on Friday, I went to a gathering of transwomen at one of Phiadelphia’s LGBT-friendly bars.  I mixed and mingled for a while, although I am not enamored with the bar scene as I find it too noisy and cramped for me.

Finding myself fatigued, I returned home Saturday morning rather than attend the last day of the conference.

Would I recommend that members of the trans community attend?  Yes, there are plenty of topics available for all members, young, old, binary or non-binary.  I would especially like to do one of my own presentations in the future.  The topic would be in line with this blog’s purpose.

And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write; These things saith he that is holy, he that is true, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth; I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name. – Revelation 3:7-8

God bless,

Lois

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Recent Posts

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  • Salute to Misfile (and all my favorite comic strips) October 5, 2019
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