Dear Ms. Caitlyn Jenner

Tags

1976 Olympics, advice, Bill of Rights, Bob Kane, Bruce Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner, celebrity, Christian, coming out, confidence, conservative, Cornell, counsel, decathlon, Declaration of Independence, Democrats, Dennis Daugaard, Diane Sawyer, female, full-time, gold medal, headlines, HERO legislation, Houston, Hudson River, Human Rights, I Am Cait, Kardashians, Kate Bornstein, Log Cabin Republicans, Lower Hudson Valley, Montreal, MTF, naive, North Tarrytown, Olympics, overconfident, Pastor Ed Young, politics, prayer, Reality television, Renee Richards, Republican, Robert Kane, Rockland, silent, Sleepy Hollow, South Dakota, sports, suggestions, supportive, Tappan Zee Bridge, team manager, Ted Cruz, track and field, trans-hostile, Transgender, transgender community, transgender issues, transgender rights, Transition, Westchester, Wheaties

English: The Tappan Zee Bridge as seen in Tarrytown, NY (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve never met Caitlyn.  But we have a lot in common.  We both identify as female, transgender, Christian and politically conservative on a number of issues.  We both spent a significant portion of our respective childhoods within a few miles of the Tappan Zee Bridge (I was on the opposite shore from her).  And since I am only three years younger than Caitlyn, some of that time was concurrent (from November 1960 to the summer of 1963, according to my calculations, based on when my family moved there and Caitlyn’s family moving to Connecticut after her freshman year of high school).

We share a love of sports.  I lettered in four sports in high school.  However, it was a very small prep school and the only way my career in sports would continue was because I became the manager for the track & field and cross country teams at a Division One university (Cornell) with an excellent program for over a century in those sports.  While I had some evidence of athletic ability, it came in a body that was considerably more compact.

In fact, there was most likely only one degree of separation between us before she came out in public.  That is because as team manager, I met one of Jenner’s teammates on the 1972 Olympic track team and also had a nodding acquaintance with a former U.S. Olympian (Bob Kane) who would become the president of the U.S. Olympic Committee shortly after Jenner’s gold medal in 1976 Olympics.  And there are likely others in track & field circles that both of us know.

It seems that a lot of people are telling Caitlyn Jenner what she should and shouldn’t do.  I should think I have as much right to do so, if not more.  However, I have reached an age where I try not to tell anyone what to do; I only make suggestions.  And I admit that the suggestions I make to my tax clients are quite authoritative.

But I have no intention of sending a letter to her home to get intermingled with hundreds of other letters from fans and foes.  So I am posting it publicly.  If one of my blog readers or LinkedIn connections knows her personally and finds it worthy of passing along, so be it.

Dear Caitlyn,

After some downtime, you are finding your way back into the news again.  Criticism of you by people who are hostile to transgender people is to be expected.  But much criticism also comes from others within the transgender community.  Is it warranted?

Let’s start with something that was unquestionably positive for the transgender community: your contact of South Dakota Governor Dennis Daugaard regarding recent legislation that would have discriminated against trans youth.  Did your voice play a part in paving the way for the Governor, who admitted never having knowingly met a transgender person, to remedy that omission?  Did that in turn help lead to his eventual veto?  I’m sure it did.

What about your meeting with Pastor Ed Young, a prime mover in the defeat of the HERO bill in Houston last November?  You prayed with him and while that is always a blessing in general, hopefully the pastor could see the Holy Spirit in you as you prayed together and in your conversation as well.  But it also gave you the opportunity to share how hateful the pastor’s trans hostile videos have been.  Someone well battle-tested on the front lines of our struggle, Kate Bornstein, gave you kudos for that.

Yes, it is important to meet with others in the transgender community (and our allies) to continue to get educated on who we are as individuals and as a group.  But what progress do we make if we only meet with each other.  Only Nixon could go to China.  Only Kirk could negotiate a peace treaty with the Klingons.  I’ve made a positive impact with many (not all) Christians in my little corner of the globe.  But so far, there are only so many I can reach.

1976 Summer Olympics (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Caitlyn, please keep some things in mind.  First of all, there is only so much any one person can do.  I know that you were remarkably consistent in your decathlon scores, but you were able to train for those both physically and with technique.  Training to live as a woman in real life, undoing a lifetime of habits, is many times more difficult.  Plus the available coaching is far more rudimentary than anything you would have received in preparation for Montreal 1976.

Second, you are not alone in the work.  There are many others out here as well.  You don’t have to become exactly like them, but you also want to be careful about acting at cross purposes with them.

But most of all, Caitlyn, you don’t even have a year living full-time as you.  And with your lifestyle and opportunities, in some ways you have experienced less than most of us.  (Make note of Renee Richards’ hindsight about how unrealistic it was for her to spend her one year life experience by taking a cruise to Italy, living for a while in a real life Fellini movie and then tooling around western Europe in a sports car, before losing her nerve in Morocco on the steps of the hospital – twice.) Ten months ago, immediately after watching Diane Sawyer interview you, my biggest concern was that you still wouldn’t be you.  You know how to be a feted celebrity.  You’ve been there and done that forty years ago. But do you know how to be Caitlyn Jenner?  Make sure you treat yourself to the time you need to find out, away from the cameras, the banquets and even your entourage sometimes.

And this brings me to your remarks about Ted Cruz.  I am acknowledging up front that there are people who read the headlines and went nuclear without reading anything else that you said on the subject.  (Headline writers provoke more than inform.)  Indeed you acknowledge that Sen. Cruz has one of the worst records on trans issues when viewed by the transgender community.  What you don’t acknowledge is how unlikely it would be for Cruz or most Republicans today to be willing to even consider having a liaison with the transgender community.   When he met you prior to coming out, Cruz treated you as an Olympic gold medalist and sports hero.  As a little boy, he may have even idolized you on the front of the Wheaties box.  There is no reason to expect he will treat you so kindly now.

I truly understand the dilemma you face politically.  What do you do when the politicians and party whose values you tend to agree with on a broad range of issues: a) see people like us as moral deviants at best and part of the vanguard of end times wickedness at worst; b) refuse to believe our testimonies that this is who we are and have always known ourselves to be with respect to gender, and who continue to insist that we have made an immoral choice; c) don’t believe we have the right to enjoy the same rights and freedoms as the rest of society enjoys: protection from job discrimination; proper medical care consistent with the findings of the American Medical Association and American Psychiatric Association; the ability to make life choices consistent with our innate gender identity; the right to safety; d) actively campaign to take away our recently-won rights (not special rights, just the “unalienable” right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness)?

Some have quoted you (or perhaps assumed) that you believe that Republicans are better on transgender issues than Democrats are.  Later articles appear to have corrected that misquote, and you admit that Democrats are more favorable on trans issues.  So I am going to take it that the latter is true for you.  But I will share that when I first read the former, my impulse was that you needed to name names.  Just who are these supportive Republicans?

Then I remembered that the Log Cabin Republicans claim to advocate on behalf of transgender individuals, not just lesbians, gays and bisexuals.  So I went to their website.  I looked at their recent initiatives.  I looked through their press releases.  They congratulated you for coming out during the Diane Sawyer interview.  Since then, keeping in mind all the transgender oriented legislation and votes that have been in play since then in places like Houston and South Dakota, they have been totally silent on transgender issues.  It has been disappointing to say the least.

On the one hand, it is good to have a positive attitude and a belief that you can make a difference in Christian and politically conservative circles.  But while there is no crime in being naïve, it is not helpful to overestimate the speed with which you will be able to change hearts.  You have strengths: a warm, likable personality, a record of achievement that few people can match and access to channels that most of us will never come close to having.  But on the negative side, your association with Kardashian reality television and continuing with that format to some extent on your own show makes it easy for some people to dismiss you as a publicity hound.

Caitlyn, I know you have heard much of this before from many sources.  But you may not have heard it from a source who is similar to you in as many ways as I am: transgender, MTF, Christian, conservative, background in track and field (and athletics in general), and raised in the Lower Hudson Valley.  You and I understand how much work there needs to be done on transgender in the Christian and politically conservative communities.  At the same time, we are not willing to write them off as hopeless.

I have more that I could say to you, but I’d prefer to convey it privately, if indeed you should grace me with a personal contact.  Contact can be initiated through my blog or contact information on my LinkedIn page.

Caitlyn, I am in the habit of closing out my blog posts with scripture.  This verse is on a monthly prayer calendar for a Christian ministry I am associated with.  It is a perfect admonition from the Lord to leave you with.

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. – Psalm 37:5

God bless,

Lois

Advertisements

The Sinister People?

Tags

abnormal, ambidexterity, ambidextrous, anatomy, birth condition, brain hemispheres, brain wiring, Bruce Jenner, conformity, converted left-handers, dominant hemisphere, dyslexia, famous left-handers, fear of unknown, forced conversion, forced to write with right hand, gender binary, gender non-conforming, handwriting, King George VI of England, left-handed, lefthandedness, minority, mixed-handed, older birth mothers, Paul Simon, sinister, stressful pregnancy, stuttering, Transgender, transgender contribution to society, transgender soldiers, transhanded, Transsexual, US Presidents

I’ve been sending information about myself to a few different people and organizations recently.  And it made me think anew about how I identify being transsexual as my anatomical reality.  That led to thinking about other anatomical realities that are not the norm.

I thought about those who are born double-jointed, or with blue eyes (same color as mine).  I thought about being one of a minority of people who are not able to roll their tongue into a U-shape (looking head on).  And I thought about people who are born left-handed.

Clearly, some atypical characteristics do not lead to opposition, while others do.  Blue eyes are often a desirable feature and even rarer colors are even more prized (e.g. Elizabeth Taylor’s purple eyes).  The same would be true for hair color with blondes and reds often seen as more desirable.

Then why do some non-conforming features breed opposition rather than attraction?  I will venture a hypothesis: people whose unusual characteristics evoke uncertainty or the unknown are more likely to be avoided or treated negatively.  And I realized that like transgender, historically in most cultures, this has also been true for those who are left-handed.

Isn’t comparing being left-handed to being born transgender far fetched?  Not at all.  Some of you are familiar with left-handed classmates being forced to learn to write right-handed.  (One person told me that in some cases, the student’s left hand was tied behind his or her back.)  Or you may recall those one piece desks that were designed for right-handed students and required left-handers to be contortionists to write.  These were clearly attempts to get lefties to conform and use the right-hand.  After all, the word “sinister” comes directly from the Latin word for something on the left side, but had also come to mean “unlucky” or “inauspicious”.

There is something even more basic that gender and handedness have in common.  They both relate to the way that the brain is wired.  Most young children don’t make a conscious decision as to which hand to use.  People generally don’t think about whether they are right or left-handed.  They know which they are and act accordingly, unless someone forces them to change.

The same is true with gender.  Most people don’t choose their gender.  They know at a young age which one they are.  Most people don’t even spend much time thinking about their gender.  They know who they are and act accordingly, unless they were assigned and expected to conform to the opposite gender.

“Transhanded” is used by some who feel oppressed by having been forced to switch from using their dominant hand.  At the moment it is a rare usage.  But it certainly has a well-known gender counterpart in today’s society.

Forcing a left-handed child to write with their right hand might seem like a small thing.  But messing with a person’s natural brain wiring risks negative consequences.  (As might be expected, there is some disparity of opinion: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22332811)  Here are some of the conditions that have been associated as occurring with greater frequency when people are forced away from use of their predominant hand (most often from left to right, but occasionally from right to left): bad handwriting, bed-wetting, stuttering, nail biting, shy and withdrawn behavior, defiance and provocative behavior, poor concentration, bad memory, reading difficulties, poor spelling, neurotic personality, unexplained physical tiredness.

King George VI of England, the father of Queen Elizabeth II, was a natural left-hander who was forced to write with his right hand.  Even as king, he spoke with a pronounced stammer, and he was a nervous child.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1TubkzxPFY

In a study published in the April 1, 2002 issue of the Journal of Neuroscience on the long-term consequences of switching handedness, it was shown that the brain activity of converted left-handers was different from both that of consistent left-handers and consistent right-handers.  Converted left-handers also continued to prefer the use of their predominant hand in other activities besides writing or drawing (for example, throwing, brushing teeth or striking a match).

The study concluded that “Adult converted left-handers show persistent features of lefthandedness during right-hand writing.”  I interpret this to mean that while they may have changed the way they write, much of the way their brain works does not change.  Therefore the forced conversion hasn’t really changed who they are.

Is this beginning to sound similar to the way that transgender people express what it has been like to be forced or feel compelled by societal pressures to live in the gender that is inconsistent with their internal gender? A brain that accommodates being acculturated in the opposite gender may show some difference from the brain activity of a person’s target gender, but it is much more consistent with the normative of their target gender than with the normative of their assigned gender.

But wait, there’s more to the analogy.  In recent years, we have seen a significant increase in those who are claiming to be transgender but outside of the gender binary (plus some who are outside but do not include themselves under the transgender umbrella).  I freely admit that this isn’t the easiest concept for me to grasp, although I am learning to accept the testimony of those who claim it as being true for them.  So it is understandable that I struggled to include this in my analogy.

It came to me as the water flowed from the showerhead over my body: ambidexterity.  Obviously having nothing to write this down at the time, I count it significant that I retained this thought through the rest of the shower and my subsequent grooming.

Upon research, I found that it fit in quite well.  Just as there is resistance to the abandonment of the gender binary, there is debate in academic circles as to whether ambidextrous people are born or are trained to become that way.  (Those who hold to the latter position point to many ambidextrous people originally being left-handed.)

Because of their rarity, mixed-handed people are difficult to study.  There is some research that has found that ambidextrous people lack a dominant side to their brain.  A study in Finland found a higher incidence of ambidextrous people among triplets.  This has some, although not exact, similarity to findings that birth order and gender of the previous children has a correlation to people born transgender or with a same sex preference.

In Denmark, it was found that mothers who experienced stress during their pregnancy were more likely to give birth to mixed-handed children.  (For what it’s worth, my mother of somewhat advanced age [37] when I was conceived and born also went through a stressful pregnancy with me.  Much of my gestation period was during a brutally hot summer in New York City.  And our upstairs tenant was a particularly nasty person, regularly complaining by pounding upon the floor over my parent’s bedroom.  Could that gut-wrenching behavior have affected my mom to such an extent that I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck twice?  I know my mom told me that she would get so upset, that she had to stop nursing me because her milk had turned sour.)

There is one downside to the analogy between ambidexterity and gender non-conforming (or a host of related terms).  Some researchers believe it is because of the brain symmetry that occurs when there is no dominant hemisphere.  It has been found that ambidexterity is more prevalent among people who also have certain disorders, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), schizophrenia and dyslexia.

http://www.wisegeek.com/are-people-born-with-ambidexterity.htm

So what’s the bottom line?  Some people say that the transgender community is where the gay and lesbian community was a generation ago in terms of gaining awareness and acceptance.  It may be even more relevant to say that we are where left-handed people were in the past.  No longer are left-handed people automatically considered sinister.  And while political division in the United States may be much deeper and more strident than fifty years ago when Paul Simon penned the song lyrics that appear at the beginning of my post, the pejoratives hurled at the left and right wing are fairly equal.

There have been eight left-handed U.S. Presidents: all since the Civil War and five of the past seven.  Other famous left-handed people in history include Benjamin Franklin, Alexander the Great, Charlemagne, Henry Ford, Helen Keller, Dr. Albert Schweitzer, Vin Scully, Cathy Guisewite, James Baldwin, HG Wells, Michelangelo, Carol Burnett, George Burns, Marcel Marceau, Dick Van Dyke, Oprah Winfrey, and the musician Paul Simon (as might be expected).  And yes, many athletes are on the list because in many sports, being left-handed is an advantage.  A sport in which it offers no advantage (because there is no defense in this sport) is track & field.  How interesting that Bruce Jenner happens to be left-handed … and dyslexic … and now we have learned, transgender.

We now know that besides an Olympic Gold Medal winner, transgender people (whether before or after transition, or both), have been valiant soldiers (such as Kristin Beck) enlisting for military service at a significantly higher rate than the cisgender population.  The transgender community has contributed to society medical doctors, engineers, scientists, professors, successful business people, clergy, attorneys, people who have earned PhD’s, climbed Mount Everest and many other people who have made the world a better place.  One can only wonder how much that contribution will grow if the world is no longer a hostile place for us.

My dream for the rest of my life is to help the world become more understanding and shed its hostility towards the transgender community; to make the world a better place for my church community, my neighbors, my clients, my family and my friends – whether transgender or cisgender.

But when the children of Israel cried unto the LORD, the LORD raised them up a deliverer, Ehud the son of Gera, a Benjamite, a man lefthanded: – Judges 3:15 (portion)

God bless,

Lois

Immediate reaction to the Diane Sawyer interview of Bruce Jenner

Tags

1972 Olympics, 1976 Olympics, American Broadcasting Company, athlete, Bruce Jenner, childhood, closet, conservative, denial, Diane Sawyer, exploration, fatal traffic accident, Gender, gender conflict, Gender Identity, gender issues, gender transition, GLAAD, interrupted transition, Jennifer Boylan, Jon Anderson, Kardashian, liberal, libertarian, Olympic Decathlon, Olympic gold medal, public perception, publicity stunt, Reality television, Renee Richards, sexual preference, Sleepy Hollow, supportive family, television, Transgender, transition year, Transsexual

Bruce Jenner (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am usually a very reflective person, especially when it comes to something for my blog.  So an immediate reaction is something relatively new for me.  I have just watched the Diane Sawyer interview of Bruce Jenner.  Here are my impressions.

First off, while Bruce continues to withhold the use of a new name and allowed and maybe even encouraged use of male pronouns, I am going to make a tricky straddle.  Bruce clearly indicated a female identity at the core.  So rather than use a last name and absent the knowledge of a first name, I will continue to use “Bruce” as this person’s name.  But I will also use female pronouns (contrary to GLAAD’s guidelines).  As I see it, the use of the pronouns was for the sake of the interview and Bruce’s supportive family members who naturally would have been using male pronouns during much of the taping process.

(In recognition of her status as a professional journalist, I will refer to the interviewer as Ms. Sawyer.)

I thought Bruce was sincere.  The threads to her story are very familiar to anyone who has heard the life story of a transsexual.  The details may vary but the basic theme is clear.  Every child who is in the process of becoming an adult begins to learn how to fit into the world around him or her.  What was different for Bruce and all transsexuals is that the world is telling you, even your body is telling you, that you fit into the world as one gender.  But your brain is telling you that you are the opposite gender.  Now how do you deal with that disconnect?

For Bruce, as it was for most transsexuals of our generation, it is a strange dance of exploration and denial.  (Bruce is a little more than three years older than me and while Bruce Jenner was growing up in Westchester County, NY, my family moved about four miles away as the crow flies on the other side of the Hudson River.)  What made Bruce’s journey different was raw athletic ability, physical strength and speed, and the determination to develop that combination of attributes to become a champion.  Similar to the story of Kristin Beck, the Navy Seal who transitioned a few years ago, gender identity conflict that had no outlet in the 1950’s and 1960’s of Bruce’s youth, added fuel to turbocharge that determination.  One produced a military hero, the other an Olympic gold medalist.

Early in the interview, Bruce mentioned the need to keep a sense of humor regarding the situation.  And Bruce does have a keen sense of humor.  But there were many poignant moments as well.  (I do question the placement of that tissue box next to Ms. Sawyer instead of next to Bruce.  Did they think that Ms. Sawyer was going to break down in the middle of the interview?  Of course not: they wanted to emphasize Bruce needing to reach out for a tissue.)

Cropped photo of Diane Sawyer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The interview was conducted mostly in Bruce’s home in Malibu, but parts were taped near Bruce’s childhood home in Sleepy Hollow (nee North Tarrytown, NY) and the campus of the high school she attended where her athletic career began to take shape and show promise.  Obviously it was edited in a way that reflects the lines between news and entertainment having been blurred long ago on the major networks.  And we had to listen once again to a series of questions so that Bruce could explain that gender and sexual preference are two different things.  Because Ms. Sawyer generally did a fine job in allowing Bruce to tell her own story, helping it along with insightful questions, I will give Ms. Sawyer the benefit of the doubt on the gender versus sexual preference theme of the questions.  I attribute the need to ask these questions to the realization that large portions of the general public still are unable to grasp this difference, not Ms. Sawyer’s lack of understanding on the topic.

Contrary to an online headline that I saw a little while I ago when I was checking the map for the relative distance between my childhood home and Bruce’s, there were no blockbuster revelations in this interview.  There has been so much build up prior to the actual program, it would be almost impossible for any program to live up to it.  About the only blockbuster announcement that Bruce could have made was that she was not transgender and that there was another explanation.  Fortunately, there was more than enough solid content during the program.  This was not a repeat of Geraldo’s Al Capone’s vault fiasco.

The most interesting bit of information I heard was the revelation that Bruce had started taking female hormones in the mid 1980’s.  But at some point, due to understandable fears, concerns about what this would do to her family (especially her children) and questions about what God thought about this matter, that earlier road to transition was cut short.  While interesting, it was not surprising.  Renee Richards had a similar backtracking experience during her life’s journey (albeit for different reasons).  This has also happened during the journeys of some transsexuals I know personally.  And I know how many times I took tentative small steps down the road of transition only to let fear turn me back.

The most heartwarming part of the program was to see the level of support that Bruce has gotten from her family.  Every one of the ten children who have come to know Bruce as “Dad” evidenced some level of support, as did her first two wives, her sister Pam and her mother.

I have to admit that I have no interest in the types of tabloid shows that have made a fortune for the Kardashian-Jenner clan.  I am well aware that a lot of the fame that has been enjoyed by them has been a combination of shrewd promotion, the fact that sex sells and that the Kardashian women are recognized by the public as sexy, attractive women.  But I will also freely admit that their stock rose considerably in my eyes when I saw them join with Bruce’s older children in unfeigned love and support for Bruce.

I was also pleased to see the notion dispelled that if someone is transgender, they must be liberal, and that trans allies must be liberal.  Bruce admits to being a conservative Republican.  Her mother is very conservative.  A brief clip of Jennifer Boylan was when she quoted her elderly conservative Republican mother responding to Jennifer’s coming out with a verse from 1^st Corinthians 13:13 – And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.  (I believe the NKJV verse or something similar was used.)

Yes, I have had conservative Christians reject me.  But I have also had a number of them accept me, to my surprise and delight.  I have been accepted by NRA members, libertarians, people who describe themselves as being to the right of Rush Limbaugh and so on.  Just as there is a certain segment of the population who does not easily fit into neat little boxes labeled “male” and “female”, it is not so simple to predict or categorize which people will prove to be trans allies and sympathetic to our coming out stories.

An interesting fact brought up by Ms. Sawyer is that over 90% of survey respondents say that they know someone who is homosexual, but only 8% say that they know a transgender person.  Bruce’s story underscores the fact that most of us are so good at hiding until we begin to emerge, that far more than 8% of the population in fact knows a transgender person.  They just don’t realize that they know one.

One of the most interesting dynamics in terms of Bruce relating to her family concerns the few times when Bruce was caught or when Bruce admitted at least some level of her gender exploration to a family member.  Rather than these events opening the floodgates of discussion between Bruce and family members, Bruce’s gender issues quickly returned to the closet and once again, the elephant in the room was ignored, sometimes for decades.

Bruce wants her life to make a positive difference.  It remains to be seen to what extent that can and will happen.  Bruce Jenner, Olympic gold medalist in a prestige event and hero of the Cold War in the athletic arena would have had plenty of capital in the court of public opinion to cash in.  But that capital has seen plenty of tarnish from her heavy involvement in reality television soap operas that spill over into all of the media coverage of her life in recent years.  I agree with Bruce that it is absurd that all of this is a publicity stunt.  The fact that a significant number of people believe it is true highlights the perception that needs to be overcome.

And yes, the specter of an even bigger elephant looms over Bruce’s situation.  It is a specter that could only receive the briefest mention due to legal issues.  I am talking about the fatal car accident that Bruce was involved in after the interviews were taped.  If Bruce eventually is found guilty of a serious crime such as involuntary manslaughter, her possible platform for good for the TG community will prove to have a trap door to the basement.

The impression I came away with from the end of the program is that Bruce intends to live the next year of her life in a low key, out of the limelight manner as much as possible.  Her invitation to Ms. Sawyer to come back in a year and see how well she did would imply that the world will not know a lot about her movements and actions over the next 12 months.  But between pending legal matters, aggressive paparazzi and journalists, and even well-wishers and people from the trans community who want a piece of her, a low key life may prove far easier said than done.  But the intent is wise.  Bruce will need this time of her life for learning and discovery, whether self or comportment or further reaching physical changes.  I hope she can achieve that time for herself.

Would I love to meet Bruce Jenner?  Of course!  Our paths are likely to have crossed on occasion: perhaps on the Tappan Zee Bridge, in some shopping center, or at a sporting event.  Because I was the manager of the Cornell cross country and track teams for four years (1970-74), are degree of separation is very small.  Jon Anderson (Class of ’71) personally challenged me to stay as manager for all four years.  (I made it, Jon!)  Anderson, the next to last American to win the men’s division of the Boston Marathon, was Jenner’s teammate on the 1972 US Olympic track team.

Bruce has enough to deal with in her life right now.  I will not add to it.  If perchance she reaches out to me for any reason, I am here, just as I have been here for a handful of trans people who have reached out to me in the past year.  I am not a trained counselor and do not hold myself out as such.  I minister to people as a friend with the insight gained through my own journey and study of spiritual matters.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24

God bless,

Lois

Planet Fitness support of transgender; Dr. Oz interviews transgender family

Tags

athletic women, Bruce Jenner, Changing room, complainant, complaint, dignity, Dr. Christine McGinn, Dr. Oz, feminine, fishbowl, Gender Identity, guest, Gym, Kristen Beck, Lady Valor, lawsuit, masculine, media frenzy, membership, Michigan, microscope, Midland, modest, muscle development, Planet Fitness, policy, protection, rumor, sensationalism, speculation, support, supportive wife, talk show, tiny minority, Trans woman, Transgender, warning, Yvette Cormier

I’ve moved into the heart of my tax season and I am not able to post as often or as much in depth on one topic.  So this will be a round-up of two recent topics that have come to my attention.

Planet Fitness:

Recently it was reported that a Planet Fitness located in Midland, Michigan had supported a transgender woman’s right to be in the woman’s locker room in their facility.  When another female member complained about her presence, the staff on duty explained that she had a right to be there.  When that didn’t satisfy the complainant, they eventually terminated her membership.

It should be noted that each Planet Fitness location is franchised.  But I know that this is the same policy that is followed at the Planet Fitness where I am a member (and where I desperately need to start going to again … after tax season).  According to a news story on the WTNH-8 News website, the Midland location has a nice feature that is also present at my location: the availability of private changing stalls.  And of course, their bathroom stalls have doors.

I never completely undress in the locker room.  I generally arrive wearing the gear in which I will do my workout.  Especially in winter, I will take off outer clothing (coat, sweater, scarf and gloves), and change from boots to gym shoes.  I am quite modest and have no desire to shock anyone or cause problems.  And when I was attending regularly, there were no complaints about me.  I received no dirty looks or stares, whether in the locker room, the main floor during a workout, or in the women’s bathroom (almost always there at the end of the workout to comb and brush my hair).  I go there alone and have never seen anyone there who I know, so it is not like I am surrounded by a phalanx of supporters.  Any time anyone has referred to me, they have always used female pronouns in a friendly, respectful tone of voice.  I had one woman approach me in the bathroom one day to ask me if I would recommend the facility.  (I did.)  My heart soared when that happened!

Now in the immediate wake of the story, much misinformation was spread by those who opposed Planet Fitness’s policy and decision at the Midland location (which was backed by Planet Fitness’s corporate headquarters).  Here are some examples:

Charge: The transwoman was not a member and had less right to be there than the member who complained.

Fact: The transwoman was a guest of a member.  People with a certain level of membership have the right to bring guests.  It is a smart business policy in the hopes that the guests will like the experience and sign up for membership of their own.  As a guest of a member, she had just as much right to be there.

Charge: The complaint was made because the transwoman was in the locker room letting it all hang out, undressing in front of the other women there.

Fact: The transwomen was wearing a baggy shirt and leggings and not undressing or changing.  She used the locker room to store her coat and purse and then retrieve them after she finished her workout.  None of the other women present had a problem with her being in there.  Neither did the complainant make that charge.  Her only complaint to the front desk and to those further up the corporate ladder was that she looks like a man.

Charge: She looks like a man and therefore doesn’t belong in the women’s locker room.

Fact: First of all, I know that this is not a Gold’s Gym or other hardcore bodybuilding gym.  Even so, this is a place where some people go to increase strength, train for athletic competition and build muscle.  Some cisgender women who train at intense levels over long periods of time can begin to look more masculine, especially if they use certain drugs to enhance their development.  At the extreme level, I have seen pictures of female bodybuilders who look more masculine than at least 80% of the adult male population.

In addition, I have seen a picture of the transwoman in question.  She looks as feminine to me as many women I see in the local grocery store.  In some pictures she looks more feminine than in others.  That is true for many women.  Those people who want to put her in the worst possible light will use the old tactic of choosing the worst possible picture of her.  Some of them have also dredged up information from her private life that had no relation to her legitimate interest in working out at a gym.  Nor was it related to the complaint or known by the complainant.

Charge: Planet Fitness should warn prospective members of their transgender inclusive policy.

Fact: Planet Fitness’s policies are available for anyone who wants to take the time to read them.  But transgender people are not a class of people who the rest of the public needs to be protected from.  We are people who generally need protection from hateful, bigoted and sometimes violent people.

There is another reason why it is not incumbent upon Planet Fitness to give more attention to its transgender inclusive policy.  We are simply not a large group.  Despite the fears of some, we are not a growing horde taking over the country or the world.  We are a tiny percentage of the population.  I would not be surprised to find that the vast majority of Planet Fitness locations do not have any transgender members.  (To my knowledge, Planet Fitness does not keep such statistics.  When I called to confirm that I would indeed be welcomed there, they did not ask me to check a “transgender” box on their enrollment form.)  The chance of anyone running into a transwoman in the woman’s locker room at Planet Fitness is practically nil.  (Although it may increase now; many in the transgender community thank those of you who brought their wonderful policy to our attention.)

Charge: The complainant was dropped from the membership rolls because she complained.

Fact: The Planet Fitness in Midland did not have a problem with this member’s initial complaint.  At times, I complained about certain things (such as the lack of five pound weights to add onto the stack of weights on a machine).  My complaints were always listened to with polite respect.  The complainant’s membership was canceled because she was waging a one-woman protest against the policy at and near to the facilities location, disrupting the activities of other members in violation of the membership agreement.

Thank you Planet Fitness.  You are providing more than a “no judgment zone”.  You are providing a safety zone for women like me.

Follow up: The complainant, Yvette Cormier, filed a lawsuit against Planet Fitness on March 23, approximately three weeks after her membership was revoked.

Dr. Oz Interview:

On Wednesday, March 11, Dr. Oz featured an interview with a transwoman, Tina, who is living full-time as a female, her wife and one of their daughters.  Dr. Christine McGinn, the plastic surgeon who treated Tina, also made a brief appearance.

First off, let me say that this is the first time I have ever watched the Dr. Oz program.  (I watch almost no current television.)  So I have no comment on any other aspect of his program or beliefs or claims.  But I thought that he treated the people who he interviewed with dignity.  This was not the sensational talk show treatment that I saw years ago from Geraldo, Maury Povich and others of that genre.  And it is light years from the horrible spectacles offered on the Jerry Springer show.

Yes, there was a bit of a shameless tie-in to Bruce Jenner with the promo of the show and the episode title.  (The episode does not deal with Jenner’s situation at all.)  But whether Dr. Oz was personally responsible for the decision to exploit the name, it was a group decision, or the responsibility rests with someone else, I understand the need to attract an audience and generate ratings.

More importantly, it was wonderful to see a couple that had weathered the painful part of transition and have stayed together.  Tina’s wife is frank about how difficult this was for her.  But she decided that because she loves Tina as a person, she would rather have Tina, even if in some sense she has lost the person she married, than to lose that person completely.  It was a positive, heart-warming story.

I highly recommend watching the episode.  You will need to bear with the fact that it is somewhat choppy because of commercial breaks (all the same commercial).  And the interview does not take up the entire episode.  When it switches to the segment on dealing with back pain (followed by one on higher protein, reduced carb pancakes), the transgender segment is over.

http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/understanding-transgender-how-bruce-jenner-got-everyone-talking

I mentioned that Dr. Oz tied his interview of Tina to a name that has many on the Internet abuzz with rumor and speculation.  Why have I not commented on Bruce Jenner’s story?  Primarily because people have the right to make their own statement about their identity and their path in life.  Until I hear or read that, there is nothing to comment on.  And even then, I might find nothing noteworthy to comment on.

However, I will say at this time that it is difficult for anyone to transition in our culture, even if the attitudes of many are becoming more favorable.  I can imagine that it would be far more difficult to do so in the fishbowl of media feeding frenzies.  If nothing else, it will make it difficult to focus on one’s own feelings and emotions as one adapts to the newness of living life in the gender opposite to which a person was assigned.  I believe I saw some of this sort of thing causing a problem for Kristen Beck as her story was told in the CNN special, “Lady Valor.”  The media attention towards Jenner would have been many times greater, even had the specter of a wrongful death lawsuit were not working.  That lawsuit will only raise the power of the magnifying glass even higher.

All that I have written in this post is important to some.  What is celebrated today, Resurrection Sunday, makes the following important to all:

But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept. For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive. But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ’s at his coming. Then cometh the end, when he shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power. For he must reign, till he hath put all enemies under his feet. The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death. – 1^st Corinthians 15:20-26

May the blessings of Easter be your blessings, today and always,

Lois

Related articles

• Planet Fitness kicks out member for complaints against transgender woman