Death of a School – But Not Its Spirit (Part 1)

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academia, actor, Alan Jay Lerner, alma mater, alumni, baby boom, Broadway, celebrities, Clarkstown, Congers, Cornell, East Ramapo, firefighters, gentrification, Haitian, high school, Hispanic, Hollywood, junior high school, Kendall Pennypacker, maturing, New York City, Orthodox Jewish, police officers, power broker, prep school, prestigious, private school, professionals, professors, public school, RCDS, reverse migration, Rockland, Rockland Country Day School, Rockland County, South Nyack, suburban, Tappan Zee Bridge, Transgender, Transsexual, Ultra-Orthodox, yeshiva

On August 19, a little over two weeks before a new school year was supposed to start, my alma mater announced that their finances made it impossible to continue. They have closed their doors and declared bankruptcy.

No, I’m not talking about my college, Cornell.  That school is so large, well-endowed and supported by state government that it would take a collapse of civilization to threaten it with closure.

RCDS Pitkin Hall (Main Building)

I’m talking about the Rockland Country Day School in Congers, NY.  I went there from grades 6 through 12, the only grades it served at the time.  It was a bit of a culture shock for me at first when I went there.  I was from a family somewhere in the middle to lower-middle income range, one wage-earner, with typical values of that group.  I was entering a school populated by children of members of the entertainment and creative industries (actors, playwrights, musicians, producers, photographers, cartoonists), academics (Ivy League professors), and professionals (doctors, dentists, architects, stockbrokers, attorneys).  They had been exposed to so much more than I had when I started school there in September 1963.

At the same time as I was making that adjustment, entering a school that covered grades 6 through 12 brought my gender issues front and center for the first time.  Sure I knew that little kids got older and matured.  With a brother five years older, I saw his friends in small groups and even played sports with them on occasion (and held my own, thank you).  Going from a school that was K-6 to a school that was 6-12, suddenly I had panoramic view of the maturing process of the preteen through late teen years.  I didn’t like what I saw.  And I didn’t hear about anyone saying that they were going to change gender once they became adults.  Homosexuality was rarely talked about.  Transsexuals weren’t even on the radar.

But once I became acclimated, I caught up and thrived there.  I didn’t get into Cornell because I was cute.  I got good grades and good scores on standardized tests.  Out of boredom with a teacher who taught only to the middle of the class, my performance in public school started to suffer in 5^th grade (same year when it did for my brother) and my parents seized the opportunity to enroll me when one of my public school classmates announced that he would be going there next year.

Based on the remarks I have heard from alumni who graduated from there both before and after me, there are many of us who have fond memories of RCDS.  As sad as it is that the school is closing, it is equally sad that it took something like this to bring the alumni closer together.

The first Tappan Zee Bridge under construction

In a strange way, the school is closing pretty much the way it started.  It was supposed to open its doors in September 1958.  They hired a headmaster and were preparing to begin this brand new experiment in education in Rockland County.  There was only one problem.  They kept waiting for the new headmaster to show up to lead the way.  He never did.  Parents had to tell their children, many of them disappointed, that they would be going back to public school that September.

But the group that started the school was undaunted.  They had a vision to provide a better quality of education for their children without having to send them away to boarding school.  The found a new candidate to serve as the first headmaster, Kendall Pennypacker.  This man arrived with his wife, Ruth, who was the school librarian for many years.  The school began in September 1959 with just a few grades in a house in South Nyack, not far from the same Tappan Zee Bridge that had brought a population boom to Rockland County and made it a little easier for people to commute to New York City, turning the county from rural to suburban.

Alan Jay Lerner

Within a few years, the school received enough donations, Alan Jay Lerner being principal donor, to purchase a plot of land in Congers that was known as the Pitkin farm.  It had been home to one of the first women medical doctors in the United States.  I won’t go into detail about some of the strange things that were found when the school took position of the property.  Suffice it to say that the cleanup and transformation of the farm house and other buildings on the premises into classrooms, a library, an art studio and science labs took longer than expected.  Before the school could be ready for classes that year, everyone (faculty, teachers and students) pitched in to put the finishing touches on the place.  (A member of the class of ’67, someone whose father won five Tony awards, told me that it was her job to paint some of the baseboards.  As one of the younger students at the time, they gave her a job she wouldn’t have a problem reaching!)

Similar to the 1958-59 misfire for the start of RCDS, the school has ended in a similar way.  The latest information given to the press was that the parents were told in May that there was a possibility that the school might not continue in September.  But then they were assured in June that the school was committed to moving forward another year.  This time it wasn’t the head of school leaving that scuttled things.  Current Head of School, Jocelyn Feuerstein, was working every angle she could to find a way to keep the school in operation until the cavalry arrived.  But it didn’t arrive.  The Board of Trustees deemed in mid-August that the school’s finances did not warrant keeping the school open.  The chances were too great in their view that they might start the year and have to close down in mid-year, unable to pay the bills.  That would have made it even more difficult for teachers to find new jobs and students to move to new schools.  Two and a half weeks gave very little time, but at least there is some.

There are short-term reasons and long-term reasons that led to the school’s demise.  First the short-term:

• Declining enrollment which meant declining income.
• The sale of the campus to the Town of Clarkstown in early 2018 didn’t save as much money and help finances as expected.
• Negotiations with the Town for more favorable lease terms failed.
• A number of students who were supposed to attend in 2019-20, pulled out at the last minute, lowering enrollment revenue even further. Some sources indicated that many were international students who presumably (based on country of origin) were making significant tuition payments, but some local parents concerned because of the May announcement also found alternatives.
• Efforts to raise funds in the 11^th hour from alumni, local businesses, by attracting new students, or to get Clarkstown to reconsider the lease amount were all unsuccessful. Although that May letter had gone out, the reassurance made in June made the board reluctant to send out appeals for donations in any kind of a panic “save RCDS from dying” mode.  And so it has come to an end.

The long-term reasons require a longer explanation.  They are far more complex.  They are also just one person’s analysis.  But this one person has talked to a number of people, has a mind good enough to get into RCDS, Cornell and Mensa, and brings some professional skills to the table.

Hollywood, or more precisely Hollywood becoming more and more the center of the entertainment industry compared to New York City:  Yes, there is still Broadway theater and there are a few studios in NYC, but in general the stars of Broadway don’t have the same celebrity status they had 50-60 years ago.  The exceptions tend to be those who are on hiatus from filmmaking.  Lesser box office appeal would tend to translate to less relative income, meaning less ability to live in the suburbs and send their children to an expensive private school.

Gentrification of New York City: After years of flight from the city, it started to become the in place to be again.  Converted industrial building lofts in Soho and Tribeca became trendy.  As one indicator of how demand changed, a brownstone in a depressed neighborhood like Fort Greene that sold for $20,000 in the mid-1970’s couldn’t be touched for under a million dollars 20-25 years later.  As bus and rail service and transportation terminals became more crowded and dilapidated, the commute became more dreaded than urban life, especially as New York City started to get cleaned up and revitalized.  Stockbrokers, ad executives, publishing executives, college professors and others who had been part of the professional group that supported RCDS were leaving the county in reverse migration.  The supportive community was shrinking and becoming less close-knit.

Demographics: Who moved in to replace the people who moved out?  The population of Rockland County has increased in every census, except for the 1920 census.  While growth was heaviest in the 1950’s and 60’s, there are about 100,000 more people living in Rockland now that the nearly 230,000 counted in the 1970 census (the year I graduated high school).  While much of Rockland was still rural before the completion of the Tappan Zee Bridge and the Palisades Parkway to link the county by limited access road to the George Washington Bridge, it is now the third most densely populated county in New York State outside of New York City (behind Nassau and Westchester).

Ramapo HS (NY)

One group that has moved in heavily is the Orthodox and Ultra-Orthodox Jewish population.  6.3% of Rockland households speak either Yiddish or Hebrew at home.  31.4% (~90,000 households) of the county’s population is Jewish, many of them school age children, making them the largest per capita Jewish county in the United States.  At one time, the Jewish population was well represented at RCDS.  At least 12 of my graduating class of 30 identified as Jewish.  But the large Jewish population now has given rise to a large number of Yeshivas.  This is where many Jewish students now go to school.  East Ramapo Central School District is one of only three school districts in the United States where more students go to private school than public schools.  While some go to Catholic schools or nonsectarian schools, this is true throughout Rockland.  The difference in East Ramapo is the large number of Yeshivas.  This is a large group of students who are not candidates to go to RCDS.

Another group that is heavily represented in Rockland is those who are in the public service sector, mainly police officers and firefighters.  There are always exceptions, but generally their children are more likely to go to public schools.  The Hispanic and Haitian residents of the county also generally go to public schools.  13.2% of the county’s households speak Spanish, French Creole or French at home.

There is still a large group of students who would have been possible candidates for RCDS.  But on a percentage basis, it is probably smaller than when the school was founded.  There is also a trend towards more prestigious colleges (while small liberal arts colleges are declining) and in turn more prestigious prep schools.  Many parents and students are looking for the route to becoming Wall Street wizards, real estate tycoons and other power brokers.  A well-rounded education starting in high school doesn’t cut it.  This may be another reason so many local students in the lower grades didn’t continue on to high school and graduation.  And there is another trend that is affecting the candidate pool for the school. It will be discussed in the next post.

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; – Ecclesiastes 3:2

God bless,

Lois

When Seasons of Life Collide

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When I initially started HRT, my doctor at the time had me on one medication that required a weekly injection and one that required a monthly injection.  I did not do well self-injecting (and later on was advised that doing such a thing is dangerous for someone who lives alone like me).  For about 18 months, I was able to find people willing to help me with the injections.  But when I was down to one person, I realized that it was not feasible as a permanent solution.

So I researched online and found that there was a patch alternative to the weekly shot.  And that was acceptable to me (although I have since switched to a daily gel as far easier and more convenient).  But for the monthly injection, the only alternative was a pill.  And for certain medications, pills are the least safe alternative.  After we discussed it a bit, my doctor declared that I really didn’t need that medication anyway.  After all, he said I was basically a “post-menopausal woman.”  It’s a real hoot going through puberty and menopause at the same time.  But I have to say that my body has responded well.

Recently, I considered rejoining Classmates.  I left that website when I transitioned, at the time still expecting to go stealth.  (Wow, was I wrong!)  But finding the listing rather inflexible for anyone who changed first name since high school graduation (as almost any transgender would have done, but many cisgender people as well), I decided to pass for now.  Under their setup, the emphasis would have been on my old name and my new first name would be an afterthought.  Since I also changed my last name, it could be confusing.

What that exercise did was stir up a desire to look up some of my old classmates in high school, even some who switched to other schools before graduating.  The recent death of one of those who graduated from another high school also added to that desire.  My high school graduating class had thirty students.  (It also happens to be the largest graduating class in the history of the school.)  As far as I have been able to find, at least five of those thirty have died.

So I went to Google to search for my classmates.  I found some on LinkedIn, some on Facebook (at least their public pages; I do not have a Facebook account).  Others showed up in news stories or have their images on the web.  I learned of one death through my searching.

My classmates from the little prep school, at least the ones I could find, became doctors, entrepreneurs, accountants, community activists and public officials.  They have been through marriages and divorces, raised children and sent them to college and some are seeing grandchildren come into the world.  They range from England to San Francisco and Florida to the Canadian border.  I only know of one other classmate who stayed in the county where the school is located (another who stayed in the local area died two years ago).  While some moved back to New York City from the nearby suburbs where we lived and went to school, part of the urbanization trend at the time perhaps, the rest have been quite scattered.

At this time, I am not in contact with anyone from my graduation class, although I am still in contact with one person with whom I went to school in grades 6-8.  Without Classmates, I do not know how I will make contact with the rest.  I also do not know how interested any of them will be in renewing an acquaintance.

What I am feeling the strongest is that a number of my classmates have made their mark in life and most are wrapping up stages of their life, even though they still may be active.  For me, echoing my doctor’s remark about puberty and menopause, I am simultaneously wrapping up a life and starting one.

Twenty-eight of us graduated from Rockland Country Day School on a drizzly June day in 1970 in a nearby church because the weather prevented an outdoor ceremony on school grounds.  (Two girls spent their senior year of high school as college freshmen and didn’t walk with our class.)  Then most of us went off to college like any group of young people: excited, scared, hopeful, ready to take on the world, and searching.  The boys still had to worry about being drafted and going to Vietnam.  (One of our younger teachers fled to Canada to avoid the draft during our time at the school.)  Some protested.  Some struggled with drugs.  One lied to his mother about applying to college and found his niche as a commercial fisherman, eventually becoming the captain of his own boat.  One died in a heroic attempt to protect someone else.  Many of us ended up with lives much different than we expected when we ventured out of that church some 45 years ago.

I cannot say that my life is more different than anyone else in my class.  But it is surely different from my high school and college days.  After getting very good grades (especially on the standardized exams) and lettering in four sports in high school, I went to Cornell as an engineering major wanting to become an urban planner: designing rail systems and roads.  I ended up majoring in political science, a degree I promptly shelved in 1974 and never went back to.  I tried for careers in publicity, public relations, sports writing (co-authored one book, but couldn’t build on that) and advertising.  To pay the bills, for a couple of years I settled for government jobs in public housing.  Chafing in that climate, I took the risk of working for commissions instead of a salary in the brokerage business.  Over time, I added hats in real estate, insurance, financial planning and tax preparation.

In my personal life, I was married for less than a year.  I never had a long-term relationship and never initiated any relationships.  I was torn between a need for privacy and a need to be loved for who I am.  There were times when the lack of companionship hurt.  But now that I see what so many others in the TG community go through with their families, I am grateful that I am single and without children.

I drifted away from organized religion while in college.  But in my late twenties I returned and within ten years became active in church leadership and in a worldwide Christian missionary organization.

By the time I reached my mid-fifties, it looked like my life was settled.  I said a final good-bye to both of my parents.  I was respected in my church and moving up the ranks in the missionary organization.  I jettisoned everything from my financial services business except tax preparation, blessed by a group of wonderful, loyal clients.  With the extra time and some inheritance money, I began to travel for the first time in twenty years.  I have been blessed by extraordinarily good health.  I was content.  Until …

My supervisor at HUD would say that you have to watch out for the quiet ones.  Still waters run deep and dark.  And deep beneath my surface there was a different name, a name hidden in my heart during my time at RCDS and Cornell but shared with no one.  That is my legal name now (with a middle name eventually added).  And the gender marker on my driver’s license has changed from M to F.

Certain I would spend the second half of my life in a quiet, plain vanilla way, I have found myself doing quite the opposite.  When I least expected it to rear its beautiful head, I reached the point where I could no longer live a lie.  (I could write a book expanding on that one sentence.  And I hope to do so.)  Even after I went full-time nearly three years ago, I thought I would stay in the background: grateful for each client who stayed with me; attending support group meetings and an occasional social function; finding a new church that would accept me and hopefully a new place to do ministry.

But I could not stay silent.  Even before Laverne Cox and Transparent and Caitlyn Jenner began to splash across the headlines, I knew I needed to find a way to do more.  Crying out to me was the blood of transgender people who were murdered or who committed suicide because they were bullied, rejected by family, disparaged by their religious community or denied the opportunity to transition.  The indignity of those who were buried by family members using their rejected name and laid out in the wrong gender cried out to me.  Anti-transgender doctrine by many major religious groups cried out to me.  Legal and societal pervasive anti-transgender discrimination in employment, housing and medical care (to name just a few) cried out to me.  The plight of runaway and throwaway transgender teens cried out to me.  If I remain silent, then shame on me for ignoring those plaintive cries.

Once again, I am venturing forth excited, scared, hopeful, ready to take on the world, and searching.  But you can add urgent to that list.  I am not heading off to college this time.  I am in my early sixties, not in my late teens.  Then I appeared to be a quite ordinary white suburban middle-class male, hoping to find upward mobility through education.  Now I am a white female member of a marginalized group, hoping to help open doors of social justice while establishing reconciliation and common ground with the Christian community.

While I hoped against hope to transition to female, until I was 59 years old, I never thought there was a chance of me doing so.  In fact, all the evidence was to the contrary.  And it is at least as big a surprise that I am a budding activist.  Yet here I am, despite or perhaps because of my shy, conservative, college sports team manager and calculator keys background.  But I also have a background in writing, editing, publicity, public speaking and political science.

Ready or not, here I am.  There are no retirement plans in the Bible.  Who will find me?  Who will I find?  One person can make a difference.  Together we can make a bigger difference.

I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name’s sake. I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because ye have known the Father. I have written unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because ye are strong, and the word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one. – 1^st John 2:12-14

God bless,

Lois