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My Sermon on 10/20/2019

27 Sunday Oct 2019

Posted by ts4jc in About Me, General Christian issues, General Transsexual issues, The Bible on transsexualism

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I had the privilege of delivering the worship service message at New Hempstead Presbyterian Church in New City, NY on 10/20/19. I thank the pastor, the Rev. Dr. Lori Knight-Whitehouse, for the opportunity. At the end of the text, I am posting a link to my portion of the service (the second Bible reading and my sermon, plus a great hug at the end from Pastor Lori). I chose both readings for the service: 1st Samuel 16:1-7 and Luke 11:37-44.

What Difference Does It Make?

Today’s scripture passages deal with insides and outsides of people.  In both cases, God is far more interested in the heart and mind of a person than the outer appearance.  In 1st Samuel, God notes that it is human nature to judge based on what’s outside.  It’s a lot easier to see external features and we like to keep our complicated lives as simple as possible.  When the children of Israel ignored God’s warnings and desired a human king to rule over them, He gave them an impressive physical specimen.  But tall, studly King Saul was found wanting: not only disobedient but making excuses for it.  So the Lord lets Samuel know that with this new king, the king whose lineage would lead to Jesus, God would select based on His ability to see and judge the worthiness of the one selected.  David wasn’t perfect.  But when confronted with his sin, he owned up to it and returned to being a man after God’s own heart.

The ritual of hand washing

The passage in Luke might hit closer to home.  It is not likely that anyone here will be chosen for a royal position.  But it is very likely that all of us have either judged others or have been judged based on our appearance or based on expectations.  And who among us would not have felt foolish if the person we judged negatively turned out to be Christ?  Yet Jesus goes a step further.  In condemning the Pharisees of His day, Jesus uses very strong language.  As they used to say in the movies, “Dems fighting words!”

We have to be careful here.  In Matthew 5:22, Jesus warned about calling someone a fool.  Now He calls the Pharisees fools for their hypocritical concern with the outside while neglecting their wickedness inside.  But in the Matthew passage, the Greek word translated as “fool” is “moros”.  That word carried a connotation of being godless as well as being foolish.  In Luke 11:40, the Greek word translated as “fool” is “aphron” [af-rone].  It insults the intelligence of the Pharisees, but not their piety.

About seven years ago, a woman I knew from church who I considered a friend told me that something I was doing was “foolish and evil”.  Then she added that she would pray for me.  I suppose in her mind that was supposed to cover it.  But it was clear to me she was implying that I was doing moros type foolishness.

What’s my difference?  My message today will focus on one that is very rare.  The current estimate is six tenths of a percent or six people in a random group of a thousand.  New Hempstead is much smaller than one thousand people.  But a church is not a random sample.  It is populated by people with similar beliefs and common purpose.  Two of the beliefs that connect me to New Hempstead are Christianity and social justice.

Some of you already know about my difference.  Many of you do not know and might be surprised.  Some might even be shocked.  Hopefully none of you are dismayed.  Unfortunately, a large portion of the Christian community around the world is dismayed.  To them, I am living in sin, have a reprobate mind and most likely not even saved.  And if I am saved, in their opinion at best I am terribly backslidden and in need of prayer for deliverance.

So let me introduce myself as I sometimes do when I speak before secular groups.  First, I am Christian.  That is my eternal spiritual identity.  Second, I am female.  That is my innate gender identity.  Somewhere down on the list, I am transgender.  That is my biological anatomical reality.

Lois Simmons, author of this blog!

It is also my anatomical reality that most of my secondary sex characteristics, even prior to cross-gender hormones and without any visible surgeries, are female.  That doesn’t make me any more female or any more transgender than another trans woman.  It just makes me more fortunate in my ability to go through life without being hassled in public.

In other ways, I am pretty much the same person I was before I transitioned socially nearly seven years ago.  I am still good in math, I can still parallel park, I still have a good sense of direction, I still have the same crazy sense of humor, I still like sports and I still love the Lord.

It is the last item on that list that makes my remarks relevant to this congregation.  Otherwise, what I have to say might be an interesting YouTube video or Facebook post that you read and then move on.  But it is my heart for Christ, my heart for those who do not know Him and my heart for other transgender people, that fuels my remarks today.  A transgender ally could have presented most of this same message.  But it would be deceitful for me if I failed to disclose the truth about who I am and where I am coming from.

At this point, I am reminded of the parable of the sower. Luke’s Gospel records it in chapter 8, verses 5-8: A sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the way side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it.  And some fell upon a rock; and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away, because it lacked moisture.  And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked it. And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an hundredfold.  And when he had said these things, he cried, He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.

hard soil

If you take one thing away from my message today, it is this: sharing Jesus with the transgender community is hard soil.  And not only has the body of Christ dropped the ball, many have kicked the ball away.  There are a number of denominations and independent churches who will turn away a transgender person, whether Christian or seeker; many others will accept them in the hopes that they can pray away the trans or expose the trans person to enough teaching … “in love”, of course … that the trans person will renounce their transgender identity.

There are grim consequences for both transgender people and the Christian Church as a result of these widespread and well-known attitudes.  For example, for many years I attended a support group in Bergen County that met in an open, accepting and affirming Evangelical Lutheran Church.  More often than not when someone contacted us about joining the group, when they heard that we met in a church, they would stop e-mailing us, or we could hear their interest wane, or they would flat out tell us that they would not come to a meeting at a church.  Whether because of personal experience or Christian church reputation, like the lyrics of a song by The Who, they do not want to be fooled again.

And unfortunately for churches like New Hempstead, even though we aren’t part of this mud puddle of bigotry, we get splashed with that same dirty reputation in the eyes of very many who identify as L, G, B, or T.  How many LGBT+ welcoming churches are seeing an influx of members of those groups?  How many of these churches are struggling to survive or are even closing their doors?  At the same time, how many LGBT+ identified people are closing their hearts to the saving knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Based on personal experience, the testimony of other trans people and mounting scientific evidence, I do not believe that someone who is truly born transgender can change that identity, whether through secular or spiritual intervention.  But that is a separate discussion.  For now taking that as a given, what is the right course for us in the Church of Jesus Christ?

I decided after years of resisting to join Facebook this summer.  Quickly I found a closed group of Transgender Christians, over 700 both strong and suffering alike.  It was a larger group than I expected to find.  There was a time that I couldn’t find another transgender Christian anywhere online.  That was one reason I started my own blog on the subject.

Edited and paraphrased to maintain privacy, these are the testimonies of some of our fellow believers and what they are going through because of their combination of identities.  Hear what your sisters and brothers in Christ are crying out.

I met with my parents for the first time since coming out to them a few weeks ago.  It is the first time they saw me presenting as female.  Our time together was pleasant, but transgender and my transition were never mentioned.  As we were parting, my mom handed me a book to read.  (The book is one of many books that supposedly use the Gospel lovingly to show transgender people the sin and error of our ways so we will repent.  Often their premise is that we are either not saved, don’t know the Bible, that we are rebelling against God, or some combination thereof.)

Post: God is good all the time.  I finally found a church here deep in the Bible Belt that accepts me as the trans woman that I am.  Reply: Great news.  There are accepting churches out there.  It isn’t always easy finding one.

When I was still presenting as a cisgender male, a cis male friend who was a member of a men’s church study group persuaded me to attend a presentation by a man who wrote an anti-transgender paper.  When I asked the presenter what he used for research material, he showed me a stack of pornographic magazines.  I never attended another men’s Bible study group again.

I was rejected by my previous church.  Yet I am encouraged by what someone in my current church told me: “You challenge us to live our faith.”

My transgender identity remained when I was saved in my mid-20’s.  It has been a constant battle to please my Lord and Savior at the same time as continuing to work towards becoming the woman I truly am.

I feel my faith ebbing away.  I don’t sense God being there for me.  Goodbye to the group.  (This person revealed that she had been molested in the past and that someone else tried recently.  She was feeling shame because she felt she may have caused it by dressing to look pretty.  With encouragement from others, so far she stayed in the group.)

A trans woman member of the group, who is known in her church as female and transgender, was invited to join a small group in her church.  Then she was told that they were going to address her only by her former male name because that was how God created her.  The reason given was that they would lovingly accept anyone who wanted to join their group, but they had to remain true to their understanding of God’s word.  The invitation to join the group was declined.  The leader of the group acted like she was the judged and aggrieved party.

The pastor of the church I used to attend told me that it would be better for their church if I didn’t come back after I transitioned to female. 

My pastor knows my transgender identity, but he and the church are lukewarm on transgender issues.  I attend a mega-church and the pastor has a lot of status even beyond the local community.  I want my church to take a more positive stance on transgender issues instead of ignoring their existence.  But I think my pastor is more concerned about what it will do to his reputation in the Christian community if he steps out in favor of transgender people.

I used to attend a church that claimed to be LGBT friendly.  They had members, including the pastor, who were either gay or lesbian.  But I was the only transgender person there.  Most of the people ignored me and one gay couple was downright negative towards me.  Not only did I leave that church, I am avoiding church altogether now.

I have been attending a church for a few months and things were going well in terms of acceptance as a woman.  Then I came out as transgender.  Now I’ve been told that I cannot be part of any woman’s group or do any ministry work.  (In general this points to the dilemmas all transgender people face: should we come out at all, who should we come out to and under what circumstances?)

An acquaintance told me today that I am trash for violating God’s word.  Furthermore, I and anyone transgender should be put to death if we don’t turn away from this wickedness.

One group member is currently in the closet as a pastor in a conservative denomination that does not accept transgender.  Another member in similar circumstances in the past stepped down and found a job as a chaplain so she could transition.

coming out – should I or not?

My spouse has been sacrificially supportive since I came out.  Now she feels the need to leave her church, the church I started to attend with her.  We thought we were welcome.  Now we found out that they only welcomed us hoping that we would eventually be convicted to turn away from our relationship with me being transgender.  We are continuing to attend, but no longer feel welcome and are starting to look for another church.  But that is very difficult in our area.  Also a transgender teen had been coming with her family.  Once the church’s stance became known, this family stopped coming as well. 

These are just some examples.  They confirm what I believe the Holy Spirit was laying on my heart as I was exploring transition in 2012.  The Lord laid a new ministry idea on my heart.  I call it “Born Thrice”.

In a sense, a transgender Christian who transitions is not only born again, but born three times: physical birth, spiritual birth and gender rebirth or reassignment.  To the world, in many ways I am a new person.  I have a new name and a new gender marker on my birth certificate, my passport, my driver’s license and with Social Security.  My brother for the first time has a sister.  My senior men’s honorary society at Cornell retroactively had their first female member.

Here are the aims of my proposed ministry.  Note how well they fit in with the needs expressed in a sample of unsolicited posts that were taken from the Transgender Christian Facebook Group over the past month.

  • Provide support so that transgender Christians can remain steadfast in their faith. This can include helping find a new church.
  • Help transgender Christians who became discouraged and turned away from Christ so that they will return to their first love; shine the light of Christ’s love to those who were raised in the church and proclaim that there is a place in the body of Christ for transgender people with many faithful churches now receiving them with gladness and without judgment.
  • Proclaim to the rest of the transgender community that God loves them just as they are and that there is peace and wholeness without shame in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
  • Educate pastors, ruling elders and congregations that there is no conflict between Christianity and transgenderism. This can be done discreetly on behalf of a transgender Christian who would like to come out in their own church but is unsure of what the reaction will be and would like the waters tested.  It can also be done to help find a new church or for any church that wants to know more about transgender.
  • Talk with Christian family members of a transgender individual who has or plans to come out, helping the family respond with love and compassion rather than condemnation, while also showing compassion for the adjustment that the family members will be making.

Some of the transgender Christians I am meeting will become part of the pool of counselors.  But more groundwork needs to be laid.  It would help to have someone with the skill to take a vision and get an organization off the ground successfully.  Denominational support and endorsement will be helpful.  Once a ministry gets large enough, a good advisory board and a board of trustees is needed.  And prayer support is always necessary for a successful Christian organization.

How else can you make a difference?

As far as I know, no one else in the New Hempstead congregation is transgender.  But allies are always a blessing.  And if there are enough people interested, I would be willing to help lead a discussion group on transgender.  Key Bible verses and books on the topic are available as discussion starters.

Bee Love Slater, a transgender woman of color, was burned to death in this car on 9/4/19

Other ministry opportunities are likely to arise.  The transgender population, particularly transgender women of color, tend to be underemployed and living in poverty.  Some turn to sex work as their answer and this makes them very vulnerable to physical violence.  [But all transgender people are at a higher risk to be victims of physical violence.]  There are also times when transgender identified young people need safe places to obtain education or even refuge from their immediate family.

And I challenge you today to consider your own common interest community.  Maybe it is music or pet lovers or senior citizens or gardening or crafts.  Maybe it is your profession or the sports team you root for or centered on the activities of your children or grandchildren.  Are you shining the light of Christ in your communities?  Do people know that you are Christian?  Or would they be surprised to find out?  Maybe you’d like to share what Jesus has done in your life but you aren’t sure how.  Pastor Lori and I have ideas on that subject and would love to share them with you.

Lord, I pray that those who have heard this message will apply it to their life according to Your will.  And I pray that whether it is through Born Thrice or other instruments of Your choosing, that you will help many transgender people abide in Your grace, peace, joy and love. Amen

New Year’s and Gatekeepers

02 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by ts4jc in About Me, General Christian issues, General Transsexual issues, Just for Fun

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Auld Lang Syne, College Football, Dick Clark, gatekeeper, gender conflict, gender counselor, Guy Lombardo, informed consent, January, Janus, Jeremiah 17:9, mind of Christ, New Year, New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, Rose Bowl, support group, Tournament of Roses Parade, Transgender, Transition

Happy New Year to all of you who have come this way!

I don’t put much stock or emphasis in New Year’s.  I cannot remember the last time I made New Year’s resolutions.  To my way of thinking, if you often monitor your life and especially if you are in prayer and God’s Word on a daily basis, you will know when something needs to be changed in your life.  You do not need to wait until a particular day of the year.  You can start on whatever day the realization comes to you.

I don’t have many special memories of New Year’s.  I do remember the first time I was allowed to stay up until midnight.  My parents were going somewhere with a couple who lived across the street and another couple they knew.  To make it happen, my brother was engaged to baby sit the young children of that other couple.  I was allowed to tag along to “help”, but probably just as much so my brother could keep an eye on me, too.  I think I was 11 and he was 16.  As I recall, I fell asleep before midnight and groggily got to my feet when my parents arrived to take us home.

Last Sunday, two women in my church (both old enough to have teenage children), were talking after the Sunday service about what they usually did on New Year’s Eve.  One of the women said that she didn’t like watching it on television anymore because of the entertainers they featured.  She said she missed the days when Dick Clark hosted it, because he was more traditional and respectful in whom he brought on the program.

I responded that I am old enough to remember Guy Lombardo and both of the woman looked at me like I had six heads.  For those of you who also don’t know the name, Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians were broadcast or telecast from a ballroom in New York playing Auld Lang Syne at the stroke of midnight from 1929 until he died in November 1977.  A recording of his band playing Auld Lang Syne is still the first song played after the ball at Times Square reaches the bottom of its descent.

I didn’t have the heart to tell the ladies that, for my parents, Dick Clark was the dreadful break with tradition.  He conceived of his version in the early seventies specifically to compete with Lombardo.  With the Baby Boomers becoming adults, he correctly saw that they were not interested in watching older people in formal wear and party hats while ballroom dancing.  He deliberately added the word “Rockin’” to the title of the program to let younger viewers know that this was not their parents’ New Year’s Eve program.  It worked.  It attracted the younger audience while turning off people like my parents for whom the very idea of rock music was anathema.

Most of my early memories involve New Year’s Day itself, not the night before.  It would start with the Tournament of Roses Parade.  My Aunt Betty and her family lived in a neighborhood of Los Angeles near Pasadena.  I think she even participated in a parade or two when she was younger and then some of her children did.  So we watched, with the unrealistic hope that we might see one of them.

Then it was time for the football games.  My mom hated football, but she knew it was a losing battle to keep it off of the television.

In those days, the New Year’s Day bowl games really meant something.  They were the climax of the college football season.  When I started following college football in the late fifties, there was only one other major bowl game at the end of the season: the Gator Bowl in Jacksonville, Florida.  The Sun Bowl was played in those days, but the teams they invited were not considered major teams at that time.  New Year’s Day brought the big four games: Orange Bowl, Sugar Bowl, Cotton Bowl and Rose Bowl.  Back then, all of them were played during the daytime.

With today’s plethora of bowl games, many of which feature teams who were only able to break even during the regular season, I barely pay attention any more.  Most of the major bowl games aren’t even played on New Year’s Day now and their importance is reduced even further with a separate BCS National Championship Game matching the two top ranked teams in the country.

So what does all this have to do with gatekeepers?  A few things.  First of all, Guy Lombardo and Dick Clark, entertainment icons of their day, served as familiar faces to usher in the New Year.  In a way, that made them gatekeepers from the past to the future every December 31, heralding the end of an old year and beginning of the new.

Second, January is named for the Roman mythological god, Janus.  In Roman mythology and religious practice, he was the god of beginnings and transitions, and therefore also gates, doors, passages, endings and time.  He is traditionally depicted as having two faces looking in opposite directions, one to the past and one to the future.

Transitions and gatekeepers are both very important in the life of the transsexual who has reached the point in life when the target gender becomes actively pursued as one’s future, and the gender assigned at birth is hopefully left in the past.  While all life is a transition from one stage to another, this period of progression toward the target gender is highlighted with the term because there are very few processes in anyone’s life experience that could be compared to what is involved.

Gatekeepers are a significant part of the transition process for the transsexual.  My understanding is that many transsexuals object to the existence of gatekeepers who get involved beyond a minimal level.  This minimal level is sometimes referred to as an “informed consent” gatekeeper system.  Under it, the choice to transition is strictly personal and the gatekeeper’s sole function is to inform the client of the possible risk and consequences of the various elements of transition (hormones, surgery and perhaps some of what might be expected when coming out to family, friends, an employer and so on).

I count myself as one who believes that it is preferable for a gatekeeper to serve a more extensive mental health and counseling role.  I will state up front that I had a very good experience with my gender counselor.  I believe there are many reasons for that.

First of all, I did my homework before starting the process.  One of my reasons for finding and joining a support group was to gather as much information as possible about resources and steps in the transition process.  This included getting names of individuals and organizations in my local area that provided gender counseling.

I interviewed three of the four counselors whose names I had received.  (The fourth person was honest enough to disqualify himself.)  It was not an easy choice, because all three were well-recommended and I believe I could have had a successful outcome with any of them.

Some critics object to an extensive gatekeeper system on grounds that it is in the vested interest of such a gatekeeper to stretch out the process.  More sessions means more fees.  I am satisfied that this did not happen to me.  From what I have gathered from other transsexuals, my counseling progress was relatively rapid in terms of the number of sessions before I received my carry letter, my diagnosis and referrals for hormone replacement.  Around that time, the frequency of our sessions was reduced and I am now on what I would term a PRN basis (using the Latin abbreviation for “as needed” in regard to a prescription medication and applying it to counseling).

I believe that my attitude toward the process was also a significant part of its success and speed, which, in turn, are related to my positive view of a larger gatekeeper role.  I determined early on that the mental health professional I chose is my gender counselor, not my therapist.  Therapist implies that there was something wrong with me that needed to be healed.  Counselor implies a desired goal that is first given an initial evaluation for validity and feasibility.  If the answers to both of those are “yes”, then we become a team with a mission to make that goal a reality.  The counselor serves as team leader, but I retain certain autonomy.

Another area that was very important to the success of the process was my preparation prior to the session and my participation during the session.  My counselor actively participated with probing, guidance and suggestions.  But probably the one thing she said most often was, “Hold on, let me catch up,” as she tried to write down what I had to say.  I am blessed with an excellent memory.  Also, I am comfortable with my childhood and have no sense that there are any repressed memories floating around.

As a Christian, I had additional reasons to favor greater involvement by a counselor.  First is a phrase that appears in two separate Proverbs (11:14 and 24:6): “in multitude of counsellors there is safety.”  While my group of counselors did not work in concert, I assembled a team of them.  In addition to my gender counselor, there was my pastor, my questions to various people in the transgender community who had an extensive body of knowledge on trans issues, and attending support group meetings.  Once I started on hormones, my doctor was added to the team.  Last and most important to me as a Christian, there was and continues to be my daily communion with God through His Word and prayer.

The second verse was a strong caution to me and I took it very seriously.  The verse is Jeremiah 17:9: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”  While this verse is from the Old Testament and Christians can rely on the knowledge that we have “the mind of Christ”, we still have to be aware that there exists in us the potential for battles between the flesh and the Spirit of God that dwells in us.

One of the things I appreciated about the counselor I chose was that at the end of the intake she asked me why I was there.  But she asked in a way that I knew she meant more than the general reason that I had already discussed during the intake session (i.e., my gender conflict).  Why was I there now?  Why had I come at this time in my life?  It gave me the opportunity to share the concern on my heart raised by Jeremiah 17:9.  I told her, “I want to know the truth and I don’t want to make a mistake.”  In response that day and thereafter from time to time, she let me know the following: a successful outcome was her priority; she was experienced in being able to tell who was genuine and who was lying (whether to the counselor or to themselves); she knew the consequences of a wrong choice would put me in an even worse state then I was in, and she would do what she could to prevent that.

“Let all things be done decently and in order.” – 1st Corinthians 14:40

God bless,

Lois

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Recent Posts

  • My Sermon on 10/20/2019 October 27, 2019
  • Salute to Misfile (and all my favorite comic strips) October 5, 2019
  • Death of a School – But Not Its Spirit – Part 3 September 13, 2019
  • Death of a School – But Not Its Spirit – Part 2 September 9, 2019
  • Death of a School – But Not Its Spirit (Part 1) September 7, 2019
  • Non-Christians, Baby Christians, Discipleship and Moderation July 27, 2019
  • Scapegoats May 28, 2018
  • And Now For Something Completely Different … – Part VIII February 17, 2018
  • And Now For Something Completely Different … – Part VII February 11, 2018
  • And Now For Something Completely Different … – Part VI January 3, 2018
  • And Now For Something Completely Different … – Part V December 26, 2017
  • Lois Simmons: Evangelical Transgender Woman December 8, 2017
  • Tribute to Vin Scully – Part V November 30, 2017
  • And Now For Something Completely Different … – Part IV November 28, 2017
  • Tribute to Vin Scully – Part IV November 23, 2017

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